There are joke Christmas gifts. There are the “I didn’t put to much effort into this” gifts. And then there are the “OMG what’s wrong with you?!” gifts. Don't commit this festive season faux-pas.

When shopping guys, umm, I mean people, there are certain things you should NOT buy for someone unless they SPECIFICALLY asked for it. You’d think some of these go without saying but the stories I’ve heard…

1. A gym membership, visits to the personal trainer, or anything else that screams YOU SHOULD GO ON A DIET. (You can add a gift certificate to a plastic surgeon under that list.)

2. Appliances. Blenders, vacuums, leaf blowers.  It’s not just that these gifts are overly practical, it’s that they suggest WORK.  Bleck. 

3. This is not the time to buy sex toys. “What did your husband buy you for Christmas, dear?” asks your mom. You get the picture. Save this one for Valentine’s Day, or better yet, any other “just cuz” kind of day.

4. Perfume.  There are few purchases more personal. It’s hard enough finding one for yourself.

5. A housecoat. Yup, they still make them. Same goes for a fleecy or flannel onesie. I said no to sex toys but no need to go to the other end of the spectrum and make her or him feel like an asexual Teletubby.

6. Fake anything. Fake designer bag, fake diamonds, fake Rolex, fake flowers.  Especially if you’re trying to pass said gift off as the real thing.  One day you could be outed. And that will be a very dark day.

7. Ladies, do not buy him classes he has no interest in. No yoga, watercolours, flower arranging, Zumba. This isn’t the way to spend quality time together. It’s the way to make him order you full fat lattes at Starbucks behind your back, just to spite you.

8. Random household knickknacks. Just because I commented on your ceramic kitten collection doesn’t mean I want to see a piece of it wrapped under the tree. Yes, there are exceptions and times when you want to pass along family heirlooms.  But that doily you are trying to get rid of? Nice try.

9. A puppy. Owning a pet is serious business and everyone in the family needs to be on board with this new addition. Even if everyone is ready to commit, it’s not be the best time to introduce them to the family.

10. Art. Like perfume, art can be very difficult to choose on someone’s behalf.  The exception is if you know an artist they love.  But if the recipient doesn’t like the piece, then I have to remember to put it out every time you come over.  Who, what? This never happened to me, I’m just saying.

Again, if someone specifically ASKS for one of the above, okay then!  But if you’re going to choose something no one wants, go with the ugly Christmas sweater. At least that only has to come out once a year.