I just finished The Juice Cleanse by The Juice Truck, a local company that makes cold-pressed juices and delivers them right to your door. $200 for 21 juices. And before you say "for that money, you should make your own juices", I say, know thyself. I will only stick to this plan if I buck up ahead of time.

This three day cleanse is designed to be a “gentle flush of your system. It normalizes digestion and helps regulate hormones, remove impurities from your colon and supports your liver.”

I picked this particular cleanse because the juices sounded tasty.  Plus, at approximately 1700 calories a day, it’s no starvation diet.  

Nutritionist Nina Hirvi from Copeman Healthcare Centre says that we all cleanse our bodies with regular trips to the loo.  But a cleanse “can psychologically “reset” your thermostat. Physiologically, nothing will happen in three days.  And nothing bad will happen either, i.e. it’s a low health risk.”

That’s exactly what I’m looking for.  Since wine, cheese, and candy have become my mainstays, I’m in.  I need a kick in the healthy pants.

DAY ONE

7 am: Coffee.  I begin the cleanse by falling off the wagon.  If I don’t get caffeine, someone will get hurt. I vow to limit myself to one cup a day.

8 am: My first juice is The Digestive.  Cucumber, parsley, spinach, celery, apple and lemon. Tasty.  It’s more watery than I expected, less smoothie like.

10 am: Second juice, The Base.  Yummy. Kale, cucumber, celery, pear, lemon and ginger.  I have to have two of these a day. It’s light and refreshing.

11:30 am: I want a cookie.

2:30 pm: One 475 ml juice every two hours or so is a lot of liquid.  I have to go pee, again.

4 pm: Just got back from the gym.  I had more energy than I expected.  But it is only day one.

6 pm: Dinner consists of Protein Milk. It looks creamy and it’s the most calorie dense juice on the list.  570 calories and 42 grams of fat. Tastes a bit chalky.

8:30 pm: Time for The Sleep Tonic. Pear, romaine and mint. Supposed to help me sleep like a baby.  After the protein milk, at least I’m not a cranky baby.

DAY TWO

8am: Same lineup of juices for today.  I can make it through if I don’t spend too much time working from home, too close to the fridge.

11:20 am: Frailty thy name is Kristina!  I break down and have my second coffee. Apparently I can cut booze, sugar, and solids.  Coffee is my Achilles heel. 

12:30 pm: I get to have a small bag of chia seeds with the third juice of each day.  (For fiber, apparently.) I’ve never been so excited to eat tiny black specks.

2:17 pm: Gobble up five cherry tomatoes. It’s a “sanctioned” cheat as starving first time cleansers can have fruits and veggies.  Hirvi says juices have a higher glycemic index than solids, which mean sugar spikes.  It also removes some of the nutrients.  All that said, I’ve never consumed so many fruits and vegetables in one day, liquid or not.

3:38 pm: If I give you say, my dog, will you give me an almond? I’m feeling a touch light-headed. Can’t wait for my 4 pm juice.

8:30 pm: Happily, I’m not hungry anymore, probably because the more filling juices come at the end of the day. I’m usually an evening snacker but now I don’t feel the need.

DAY THREE

8:42 am: I’m over the hump day, yay! I definitely feel lighter in some way.  Oh wait, it’s because I don’t have any real food in me!

1:13 pm: Today is going pretty well, probably because I’m busy and spending less time thinking about food. Plus, I know it’s almost over. 

3:30 pm: My stomach is bored.

8:00 pm: Just one juice left and a few hours before bed.  I can make it!

DAY FOUR, CLEANSE FINISHED

Food, glorious food!

I do feel lighter, in body and spirit. I have dropped a few pounds, though I’ll likely gain them back quickly.  While day two was tough, overall, it was doable.  Hirvi reminds me that just cutting out the alcohol, dairy, and sugar for three days can achieve similar results. 

And that’s one thing this process has inspired me to do, to eat more healthfully, at least for the near future.